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Narperism
The Narper (born Unknown) was voted the most annoying person you don’t know ever existed by Fictitious People Inc. (FPI) in 2015. Following numerous scientific studies FPI says “you wish the NPR didn’t exist, but he does.” The study concluded that the NPR is an omnipotent being with the ability to be anyone, or anything, at any time – for the sole purpose of “pissing you off.” The NPR’s viral DNA is the cause of systemic annoyance throughout the universe. The Narpers effects on the world · Invention of the DMV (1930) and waiting in lines (4000 B.C.) · Invention of Legos (1990) · Invention of Carpets (1810) · Invention of the turn signal (1939) · Invention of people who do not use them (2001) · Roommates who drinks your orange juice (2015) · Leaving dirty dishes in the sink (2015) · Roommates who pays rent but it is always late (2010) · The American Political System (1876) · Untied Shoe Laces (1960) Further effects of Narperism The origin of the first NPR virus is still unknown to this day. It is estimated 30% of the population was affected in 1930, and remained at that level until 2015. Today entire the population has been infected, and are susceptible to “being pissed off easily” Reported cases of the virus in full maturity, causing the individual to actually turn into the NPR, are rare. Currently 49 American President are known to have 100% trace of the virus. 99% of the top 1% of the population also contain the highest amounts of the ab virus – this does not include celebrities Symptoms Effected individuals usually find themselves in positions of power, and great wealth – while the effect of the virus is evident little is known about its gestation period. Some individuals may be affected from birth, or the mutation may occur later on by contact with infected individual(s.) As the virus worsens the individual becomes less and less susceptible of “being pissed off” and the more the individual “pisses off” other people. Some signs and symptoms to look out for are: · Interest in the political system · Interest in buying a Prius or lifted truck · Sending back food at a restaurant for no reason · Playing music too loudly · Unethical behavior including manipulation and stealing · Smoking · Subscription to EMT Natural Born Narpers When an individual is born with the NPR DNA virus it is automatically accepted and worshiped by other NPRs. A natural born Narper will often become a celebrity and be loved by the GIP (general infected population) NPR after birth Most individuals are infected with NPR as children and will never know they have the virus. Individuals who are effected in their teens are usually bullied by NPR children -- until the virus catches up around the age of 24. It is thought that NPR teens are extremely creative because of the onset of the virus, allowing the brain to develop character before it is unknowingly affected by the virus. Treatment There is no treatment for being a Narp (not a real person) COMM100W - David